That girl in the sex video, she is me!

// July 28, 2016

 As yet another Monday morning dawned on urban Sri Lanka a couple of weeks back, an office sex video peppered the lives of its inhabitants. The excitement I saw in the eyes of those who saw the video or heard about it couldn't go unnoticed. The thrill of seeing a real video of someone they either knew or heard about through so and so having rampant sex in office is stuff for tongue wagging heaven in still very orthodox Sri Lanka. So this excitement got me curious to the extent of documenting the reactions of close male and female friends. And it's certainly very eye opening to say the least. Their reactions reflected the many layers of conservative thinking that goes on in the minds of urban Sri Lanka. There was the somewhat conservative young man who you would always find , embracing all things local including its archaic approach to sex putting the guy in the video on a pedestal proudly claiming he knows him and the number of his sexual counters.

Then there's the funny guy who tries to find the light hearted element of this all by sharing the video link with anyone who wants it, especially the older men, who he claims are always denied the pleasures of cybersex purely due to not knowing how to access it. Then you have the hipster dude wanting to start a social media campaign titled "Don't you dare (insert name of establishment)" to stop them from firing the couple in question for having sex at work.

"kollek gahala video ekak upload Karala"

The ultra-liberal guy on the other hand wants to take things a bit further and invert the impact of the sex video and make the couple role models, ambassadors for a sexual revolution this country desperately needs. Advertising folks who enjoy having a reputation of being the most radical industry in Sri Lanka seems sorely disappointed to see the crown stolen by the slightly less radical financial industry. Then you have the happy go lucky guy who everybody loves very sweetly announcing with a smile "kollek gahala video ekak upload Karala". A sad reflection on how sex is never a woman's choice for satisfaction in this part of the world. It still from the perspective of a man's achievement to fulfil his hedonistic desires if an encounter was ever to be recounted.

"video eka release karapu eka thamai ayin karanna one"

You also have the refreshing open minded beings looking for reassurance that no one is blaming the couple, just the individual who circulated the video on social media. I saw a determined guy proclaiming "video eka release karapu ekathamai ayinkaranna one". Then finally you have the big hearted man saying it's the girls from this establishment that's going to suffer the mocking from young men of our narrow minded society in the end.

 The most shocking of reactions however came from women. For many women this unfortunate series of events that occurred seemed to offer entertainment value. The fact that the couple, especially the girl is insulted, ridiculed and not given a chance for vindication by all and sundry on social media in some ways seem to make them feel good about themselves. Purer maybe. The harsh judgement of this couple is a reflection of what's wrong with our society. While people blame them openly, sexual gratification from the video must have been had secretly.

A sex video like this being released in the west, which most often falls in the category of revenge porn, as opposed to your local phone repair company man releasing it, wouldn't create the same buzz in the average joes as it does in Sri Lanka. You wouldn’t get people in your immediate social circles creating memes, Facebook pages about the poor girl in question however trolls doing their usual misdemeanours cannot be avoided.

In the west no one batters an eyelid in the name of puritanical values. Sexual content gets a reaction but not at the degrading scale in which it gets received here. In Sri Lanka the reaction is in the form of vilifying especially the girl in the video all in the name of safeguarding a culture we seem to very blindly uphold. Another good example was a recent uproar at a well-known university over a couple kissing in a stage drama that resulted in a mass walkout from the audience. I saw a friend posting on FB saying maybe we should all upload sex videos until sex videos become not much of a talking point anymore as an act of defiance.

While this might be a bit too much of an extreme measure, what we must all learn to accept is that until we shed our Victorian, puritanical thinking about sex we will forever be victimized by it as a society. So that girl in that sex video, she is me, she is you, she is all of us. It could be any of us caught in a shit storm purely for listening to a desire that is utterly natural.

Written by RaviniJ / Illustrations by DRG

RaviniJ ; digital strategist at day and avid reader at night, practices her art of creative writing from riveting Facebook status updates to youtube shows while lazily dreaming about publishing her first novel someday in the distant future.



3 thoughts on “That girl in the sex video, she is me!

  1. UJ says:

    Agree with the whole “Mathawadaya”. People are judgemental, thats what people do. Your post is very convincing and thanks for sharing.

    I would blame both of them for having sex at office and getting it carelessly leaked into the social media. Doing it without getting caught is fine. But not being aware of the risk is downright stupid.

  2. Dee says:

    I don’t think we can paint the whole of the West as open-minded and very liberal though…

  3. TMA says:

    Correction: In the west no one batters an eyelid in the name of puritanical values. Sexual content gets a reaction but not at the degrading scale in which it gets received here. on’t know about the puritanical values, but in the West girls committed suicide due to leaked sex videos

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